害怕，坚强

2017年，第二篇，前两天终于发生自己最不想经历的事，或许是自己多心，可是开始痛了，很难忍，常会想为什么别人没有的东西我会发生在自己身上，自问自己不是个不上进的人，得过且过的大有人在，为什么只有我，相隔上次手术应该有五年之久，真心希望不是恶化现象，如果真的不好的事发生了，我最放心不下就是身边爱我的人，畏惧就医，不是害怕自己有什么事，而是不想看到身边的人为我难过，祈求上天，让我再有一些时间先完成学业，或许我不是最棒那个，可是至少让我父母看到我带上四方帽那天好吗？就算剩下最后一天，我也希望我还可以练吉他，让音乐和欢乐环绕自己身边。

已经是2017的八月份了

如果不是看了“原谅他77次” 应该不会再回来这里了。
同样的人，只是成熟了，经历了属于自己的生活。
选了音乐这条路，不后悔，面对的难题也就更多，
脸皮相对也变更厚了，我依然保持着谦卑的心态，卑微好像盖过谦虚。。哈哈
想当表演者，就应该有自信甚至犹如别人所说的自恋，无可否认身边都会有自己认为很棒的朋友，或许言语上没有很直接，可是行动上证明没有人喜欢跟自己弱的人一起，换着是我也一样，这不代表我会害怕或疏远你，我会找方法证明自己，非常同意自己在讲座会学习到的一席话， 不要介意别人如何看待你，因为她或他不能代表你或了解你曾经经历的一切，手震，打结，种种评语，都会成为我努力的原动力。加油！！

新搭档，多多指教 ：）

IMAGE， 自己的第一支🎸合奏团体，感谢你们愿意陪我参赛。

2014 first post

Hi all, it's been a long time didn't hang up here, a big change for me, have to learn how to control my tempered and let it go... not an easy task for me with an illogical mum i have, my dear GOD , have you heard me, could you please let my mum to be more easy going as time gone by, her sickness gradually serious already, imagination with those negative things could be getting ever more stronger, if YOU choose to let her be, please let me go, go away from those mentally torture.... AMEN.

生气吗?

莫名其妙的我生气了...是小气吗?
其实感觉上我在气我自己....我追不上他的脚步
纵使我很拼命的跟,一方面是鞋子关系...
他很拼命牵着我走快..因为下雨...我不喜欢这种感觉
很不自在,生气自己伤口疼痛无发走快...而且路滑多人
所以当时真的不想牵手...总觉得自己是负累...
不是第一次了.....难道不止现实上跟不上脚步而其实我们
都没在同一个脚步上吗?伤口不听话的痛了...T.T

今,我

结束了,可是我不在那儿
心痛着自己无法参与
无能为力的事情
别人无法了解
也无法帮助
心是灰色
天是蓝色
一切就是这么的现实
我彻底败给自己...........

Brand new post after a long period

Hi,im cindy, have been a long time i didn't write something here
Something tht happened recently n i felt like it just a dream for me
Now I'm ady 22 and being through my first operation too...the wound will be left forever in my life n it does remind me a lot of things

Started being hardworking on my studies too..ya im still studying
still getting pocket money form parents in such kind of age
so embarassing, is true tht i realized how realistic for some of so call "true friend" and so call
good teacher who say will help u but lastly i do all things by my own but he do expected me can do everything nicely....n simply gv other ppl good grades but de things nt done by themselves

Thx for all of u who hurt me and sarcastic me,i will rmb all of this n proved to u all somedays...
u all are nt tht good only n wait for me.... im sure can be better someday .

Feeling after Shun,Ng concert

The story happened like tht, after the concert
On the way bk,we are going for our supper since ah duan was hungry...
Thn, teacher suddenly ask us whether ady clear about what road we r choosing for our future...
At tht moment,i really cant even gv out 1 words n i just simple say maybe i need to change to study others instead of music
The needs of being a well known performer i ady miss out tht golden time,!st might becoz my age, thn my basic n lastly my psycho prob
How darei say out i hope to be a performer n today tht guitarist was same age with me n he was damn enjoy to his own performance
how much he pay effort for his guitar,im sure is more thn me for a hundred thousand miles
I dun dare to promise anything
Seriously.......

A new blog post after a long rest

2011, is brand new year but is almost getting to end now...
Honestly,i din even achieved any plan tht i aim for this year
In the same time, i felt i started lost myself sumtimes
Im still tht kind of lazy student
Many things waiting for me to get it done
but i still like very relax n always last minutes
My mind will always tell me do it later instead of now
I always thought i will start it tomoro
but tomoro n tomoro
Im still the same
I hate this kind of me
Really
I cant like this le
wake up pls
chance only reserved for those who prepare well enough...

22/10/10

Really a long time didnt come here write down my stuff le...
Feel so unhappy with my unreasonable mum...
Y, y i got such mum...
Everything oso not happy with me...
Y she doesnt know to change a bit,
Y always im the one who did the wrong things...
Cant she feel it i already dun like to stay at home...
I scare to face her, scare to argue with her...
Thts y i will find a lot of reason to hang out...
I dun like to stay at home..
Dun like to keep arguing with the same prob..
I wish to tell her loudly ,ya ,im dating n im really love him,so what!!!!
But doesnt mean will influence my studies
Y cant she understand me n keep on thinking bad things will happened to me...
Cant she support me abit?
I wish to escape from my home....i wish to move out to stay alone....
Better thn keep on arguing with you everyday...
Im going to get mad soon if continue like tht....

4th of August 2010

Is been 7 months didn't update my blog already...
Started my new study life in MIA instead of TARC...
Doesn't get into local university as what my parents hopes...
Have to spend 3 more years to do my diploma in music...

No regret with that since i happy with my study life now
because it is much more better than working....
Not easy to work in the society nowadays
People is getting more realistic include me XD

Nothing much to write just i swear i will become another me
after 3 years in MIA...

All The Best!!!!

27th of Jan

Im having a complicated mood....but doesnt mean tht im unhappy
Dunno y just feel like a bit weird n i dunno how to describe it...
Mentally n physically tired...

I write sumthing wrong i think...dunno whether tht person really care bout it or not...
hope this wun make it think too much...
Maybe i should really think properly bout what i want...
thn only wun suffer in anything....

Things can be tht simple....
Im just hope tht i wun make it become complicated n difficult...
im still who i am..ntg ever change bout this...

This Moment..

Few weeks didnt update ady leh, my mood just like travelling with roller coaster as well..
Coz sumthing happen with my job, but i think ntg now ady...
Diff ppl diff thinking way, i din angry bout it just hope she will understand my situation
since she want me to do so...
Hope this wun influence us...but im still dunno how to face her leh...

Thn i was quiet worry d leh, ady pain for few days ,din slp well oso...really scare me...
luckily ntg now ar....if not dunno how oso...
But, seems ok with my luck coz happy stuff happen after all of the bad things...

Haha, should be happy always so that no wrinkles ar...XD
Thats all for my post :)

Everything NEW!!!!

This is my first post in year 2010 but today not first of Jan ..XD
A brand new year for me, i hope everything getting smooth in my life..
I hope im choosing the right or suitable way for my own
no matter for my future or my career..

Today is 8 of Jan , what i've done?
First i dye my hair le, new look :)
And i oso but few of new clothes but not allow to wear it now XD
Thn,the most happy thing i hv is i got a new younger sister..

She is kind of happy type...every1 like to be with her coz she always laugh n smile all the time..
Cant deny that she influence me a lot..
Thx GOD that bring this sister for me, im really appreciate her..
Im maybe not a good elder sis but i tried my best to take care of her..:)
We still hv a long way to go so we must add oil together ya:)

Thn, i have to talk bout my guitar ady...
Recently really not much practice...dunno y like losting my heart or my soul even not with my body...
Gosh....How could it happen?
Still want to have grade exam this yr end...
This Friday will start theory class oso..haiz

Must find bk my spirit la.....
To be continue...

惊,喜的一天

今年的十二月十日,应该是我毕生难忘的一天,
为什么?因为惊和喜都发生在这一天了..
STPM终于在当天考完了,没有想呐喊的感觉,
反而额外的平静,考完时大家都到处在学院拍照,
作为留念...我当然也是其中之一咯^^,
解脱了啦,唯一不舍的应该就是朋友和老师吧!

过后,我和朋友去了金河一趟,干嘛呢?
当然是我的最爱"唱K"咯...hehe
此时才发觉多位朋友与老师也不约而同的在那碰面了啦!!哈哈
好巧哦!!于是便拍照起来了,真犹如个大家庭.

再来,我得在此祝福我那两位姐妹,希望她们工作顺利...
我会想你们的:)一起为未来加油^^
也得祝贺蚂蚁天使"生日快乐",虽然迟了一天...

而惊呢,则是老爸突然病了起来,外表刚强的他突然变得苍白
我的心突然好怕好怕,诊所几乎都打烊了,
一路驾着小蓝,看着老爸辛苦的表情,我浑身都开始不自觉的颤抖..
妈又扭伤脚,还未痊愈...
第一次这样,顿时觉得自己很脆弱,手忙脚乱的..

爸妈年纪大了,以后或许会有类似问题...
我应该坚强一些, 人老了就会生病, 而我和哥是他们的依靠..
突然觉得自己得学习更多..

悲喜交际间,我收到了一些关怀的信息.
他们虽然帮不上什么,可是至少我的心定下来许多..
谢谢老师你的信息,会慢慢学习里头的道理
谢谢红蚂蚁的祝福还有谢谢我老板娘,在我紧急时,第一个想到的是你..

这一切都过去了,新的一年要来临了,
我要乘这段时间去完成许多未完成或开始的计划...
时间,我会把握你的!!!

哭了

终于忍不住,一再的哭了...
很痛很痛,讨厌这种感觉...
不喜欢这样的自己...
决定了就不要犹豫...
我要走出这种痛苦...
我不要这种感觉,
我不要!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
很累,惨,悲...
快窒息了!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
啊!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

无题

很就没来这儿写东西了,近来都在考试..
感觉蛮复杂的却不懂要如何去表达..
现在脑里是空白的,总觉得考试时间过得特别慢长,
好迫切哦...父母都对自己期望很高,
好压力也不想你们失望,
我会尽力的..不管怎样...
最近会碰到自己无能为力的事,很担心却分担不了..
而我发觉最近自己变贪心了,我要的也越来越多..
一分一秒也不想错过,喜欢呆在那儿的感觉...
感觉很平静...
好久没看星了,好怀念星空的画面..
朋友的猫咪前几天不在了,突然对那感触起来...
或许那对它是解脱,脱离疾病的痛苦..
可是它带给我朋友很多他不会遗忘的回忆
我会为你祈祷的小猫 :)
有很多事情我应该都知道结果但是却不死心..
而且不想去理清,因为我害怕失去的滋味...
这种忐忑不安的心情不懂会持续多久?
或许我很傻可是我没办法违背自己的心..
我会珍惜的,在我还未放弃之前...

心,乐

我知道我的未来不是梦,我认真的过每一分钟..
这是首耳熟能详的歌曲 你陪我走过了各种时候
总是有刹那间的冲动 去写下对那片刻的感动
我还是我 但不是那停滞不前的我
对你的执着称不上有多至死不愉
唯能确定的是在这三岔路口
我走出了拘束 不在是那温室里的花
仙人掌是我的代名词
天真才会带来或创造奇迹
这是它让我坚信的事实
也是它的魅力所在
不管披荆斩棘,我选择了它
我的未来不是梦,因为它离我越来越近
明天还有明天,惟有珍惜我们拥有的每一天
悠然自得也是对一天的一种珍惜
绝望和放弃才是真正的败者
为了它,可以不再动摇..:)
只有一直往前走, 这是为什么人的五官都长在前方和两侧而不是背后
我的未来不是梦..我的心跟着希望在动
跟着梦想在走.....XD

Hate

I know i m the 1 let u feel most disappointed for this moment..
I really dunno wat to say oso
Dun be too highly expected on me...
even though u say u wun giv stress on me...

I admit tht im not doing my best...im trying to do tht
u r the 1 tht most love me n so sorry tht im hurt u on this time..
But can u pls leave me alone...no matter good or bad...
Thats the way im choose...

STPM doesnt as easy as im think....
didnt say im regret to choose bout it...but i hope u know tht is not easy to make a pass..
i cant promise to get flying result in it..but i will try to pass it at least...
in the same time, i hope u let me going through my goal oso...
i need to train my guitar n vocal...

twenties is coming...no more teenager...
time is very important for me now....
sorry to let u feel shame bout d result i got...
im started to hate myself..
hate myself to make u all frustrated

so pls leave me alone n dun bother me anymore.....

伴随你

现在是凌晨一点多了,我还没睡咧!!很累可是却不想去睡...
看了一个朋友以前的blog,写了好多哦..密密麻麻的字,
也从中了解更多,我发誓我会对你这朋友一辈子的好!!
我们认识不久可是我们之间会走得更遥远,
你撇不开了..哈哈...开心与否,我都会陪伴着你...

抱歉啦,我没早睡反而去看你写的东西..哈哈
我会很努力的当你第一个知心朋友..
所以你一定要相信我哦!! ^^

我要考STPM了咧,可是我还没有那种紧张的心,
反而天天抱吉他,真是的!!
我应该知道要怎样选择了..哈哈

我不懂你曾看过我写的东西吗?
可是就是想写在这里, 要努力哦!!希望还是存在的,
未来没有人知道,可是确定的是我们会发掘彼此更多..
很庆幸可以认识你的执着,毅力和善良,谢谢你

一起为梦想打拼吧,朋友!!

发霉了咧==

开斋节假期, 玩的去玩了..我却哪儿都不能去..
考试咯,还是预考咧,几重要...XD
可是却没有很积极咧...

还天天上网,FB 和玩game...够力咯^^
真的要等死吗? 不能这样了咧....

人活在世上,还有很多事情我还没做的..
我生活都很随性而且过于懒散...

不能了,是时候做该做的事...
我要好好的利用剩余的时间...
我要找回以前的我..
我就是我!!!!!!!!!